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2013年6月8日教会祝贺Pablo和伍佳音姐妹在主内永结同心
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伍家父母为女儿成家立业而喜乐
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“Children are an heritage of the Lord.” (Psalms 127：3 ) and they are given to parents to love, enjoy and nurture. Christians recognize that children are blessings from God. Parents soon find out a baby does not stay a baby for long; a baby changes at each and every developmental stage. Parenting therefore requires a lot of skill and wisdom from above. Children also have different perception of their parents in different stages of their lives. When they are very young they are totally depending on their parents. Their parents are the whole world to them. In the eyes of infants and toddlers, parents are larger than life; parents can do no wrong. Besides parents are the authoritative figures that children have to obey. Older toddlers can whine and fuss but at the end they either listen to their parents or be disciplined. Children at this age learned to respect authority out of trust because parents are the only heroes to them. If they make a mess, parents can fix it; if they behave they will get a reward of, say, a favorite ice cream! They also listen to their parents out of fear of punishment. Parenting seems to be still easy at this stage. All you need to do is to ask God to give you the wisdom in setting some realistic and practical limits that both parents would stick to and follow through. The tactic of reward and punishment seems to work reasonably well at this stage. Then, of cause every child is different；there are some strong willed children that would make Dr. Dobson loose his cool. There are parents too who are too soft-hearted to stick to their own rules.
Things start to change rapidly as the child starts going to school. He becomes increasingly less obedient and more disrespectful. Parents begin to ask ： “What has happened during those in-between years of being a toddler and a teenage child? ＂Parents would say, “It certainly was not the same way when we were growing up！” Perhaps it is true to some extend and perhaps parents have forgotten how they were growing up.
We certainly are living in quite a different world in the 21st century when technology is developed faster than we can catch up with it. Nowadays we change our gadget every other year just like we used to change our cars; yet parents still feel one step behind all the applications available in the iPhone. There is even more of a generation gap between the teen and his granny. As one teen said, "it is no use explaining to grandma about twitter, she wouldn't get it！"
As the child grows up, he is more aware of himself; he becomes interested in pleasing ‘self’ more and starts pushing limits to see how far he can get away with parents’ rules before reaping the consequences. When a child hates his vegetable he will want to know what is the least amount of vegetable he has to eat before he gets the desert. An older child would want to know how late he can stay up playing video game before he absolutely has to go to bed. Teaching obedience to their children is a challenge to parents. Do not let your child feel that you are a tyrant always say ‘no’ to his wish. You can offer him alternatives; sensible choices that is still within the limits and boundaries of the rules set down. You can offer him the choice of doing homework first then he can play a little video game if he finishes homework early. Another example: encourage your child to go to fellowship on Friday and then he is allowed to invite friends from the fellowship group to spend a night occasionally. The job, however, would be made much easier if parents first teach them we have to please God in everything we do. The main reason for obeying parents is not to avoid punishment but to honor them as God wants children to do. The first and most important job for Christian parents to do is to lead their young child to know God.
As children enter their pre-teen and teenage years they are yarning for freedom and independency while they are still highly dependent to their parents. When they were younger, when there was a problem parents would made decisions for them; when they made a mess, parents would fix it. But now they don’t want parents to make all the decisions for them; they don’t even want parent to fix their problem. Deep down in their heart, freedom is a very scary thing; because every decision one makes, he has to bear the consequences. At times children at this age appear to be somewhat defiant or downright disrespectful. May be they are confused and cannot choose between parental advice and peer pressure; or perhaps even scared in making certain decision and commitments. Teens still want their parents to HELP them to make the proper decisions. In facing a tough situation children can goes through a series of emotion in a short time: from being hurt, sad, depressed, to angry and mad. When a concerned parent picks up the clue and offer help, children, please do not shut the parent off. To honor your parents is to take them as your confidents and friends and share your inner feelings with them and respect their opinions. For parents, when a child shares with you his problems or even his moral failure, he doesn’t need your emotional response or a lecture; he needs you to make thoughtful and intentional decisions on his behalf. Don’t let him down! Take a moment to show empathy and compassion and not anger and disappointment; take a moment to pray together; renewing that experience of trusting God in everything as the child was growing up; strengthening that bond of trust that you are the parent always standby your child to offer godly advices in time of needs.
In today’s society, we are all under the influence. Sometimes ago someone told me that our kids were all church going kids and were not under the influence of alcohols, drugs, pornography and promiscuous sex. That is very good; at least our parents are doing a good job in teaching our children the right things. However our children are still constantly under the influence of the media, the celebrities and the digital technologies. They want to lock themselves up in the room and are very jealous of their privacy. Parent are curious, frustrated and worry about their kids behind closed door. Some even join the ‘Face book’ to spy on their children’s social lives. Parents have to respect the privacy of their children; but must not fail to point out to our children the positive and negative influence of the media. Parents should not condemn the media is ruining our children; neither should we let the media teach our children. When the child asks when am I going to have my own iPhone? Don’t panic! Children, digital technology can enhance your way of learning and communication; but it can also be addictive and harmful to your school performance and an hindrance to your communication with your parents. How much is too much? How to filter out the bad information from the good one? If you are a Christian, you should be wise in setting your priorities. There is a lot of garbage out there in the internet that can stunt your spiritual growth; harm your physical, mental, behavioral and even sexual development. Many teenagers believe that that can watch TV, listen to music, text a friend, chat on a computer and study the Bible at the same time. That is what worries the parents; parents can’t even handle the hundreds of daily emails from business. They feel that they have to go back to college to get a degree in Information Technology to handle their children.
Children, listen, we know that our parents are not perfect; we have already check that out in Google. How then can we honor our fathers and mothers who are not perfect, not reasonable, always angry and mad at whatever we do, sometime even make bad mistakes and give unacceptable parental advices? However, honoring your parents is not conditional to your parents’ behavior or their making the right kind of decisions. Honoring your parents is a commandment given by God. If you honor God you would honor your parents. There is a lot of misguided information, alluring fads out there to influence you; but only the word of God is the absolute truth that gives you wisdom and set you free. The Bible said, “My son, keep your father’s commandment and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20) If your parents are teaching the truth from God’s word; don’t ignore them in favor of Google. The Bible also said, “Listen to your father who gave you life and do not despite your mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22) Give your parents proper respect; they may not be technologically as savvy as you are, but godly parents have words of wisdom you want to hear. Children, you can also honor your parents by not letting them worry about you. Talk to your parents; talk to them about your friends; using the computer to do homework in the living room; don’t isolate yourselves behind locked door. Parents, respect your children’s privacy; trust them in their taking charge in making their own friends and decisions. Nothing your teens will value more than the trust and respect from their godly parents. If your own life is a living faith, your children will listen to you when you direct them to the God that they also trust.
Parents are human and can make serious bad mistake too. How can a child honor a parent who had made serious mistake and deeply hurt the child? Linda Toblin wrote of her granddaughter’s experience. The girl had a strained relationship with her father because she got into trouble with his new wife. The judge ordered counseling for both of them but the father refused. The judge asked him whether he still want to have a relationship with his daughter. The father flatly said, “No!” The judge then said, “I am sorry, but there is nothing I can do. I think he is wrong, but I can’t force him to be a father. On the way home she asked her grandmother, “The Bible says to honor my father. But how can I when I can’t even call him?” “Why don’t you honor him by concentrating on good memories of him.” Grandmother said. “Like when he used to take us on picnics and to the fairs.”
“Sure.”
“At least no one can take my memories away.” she said softly.
“And no one can say what else may happen.” Grandmother enlighten her, “Love and honor have a way of reaching out to those who think they are untouchable.”
Some father may not deserve to be honored; but honor him anyway because God said so. Love and honor can change things; because God said, “Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.” (1Samuel 2:30)
The Lord’s Supper
Paul exalted young Timothy to be a caring godly leader in the church. The same instruction applies to all Christians desire to be servants of God to serve in the church.
Scripture Reading: 1Timothy 4:7-5:2
